While choosing corn plasters in Superdrug I couldn't help but overhear the conversation of two young girls. 

It started off with them discussing the merits of their hair extensions. I peered a little closer and, sure enough, they both had the strange stiff little strands visible on their scalps.

Next, they moved onto who had the best nail extensions and I saw to my dismay one of these vociferous maidens was sporting gold tipped two inch talons in British racing green, while the other had plumped for the slightly less alarming French polish but still over an inch in length.

False eyelashes were next on the list to be discussed, apparently you can now buy them individually - my mind boggled at the very thought of how long this must take to accomplish if done on a daily basis particularly wearing claw-like nails!

Finally they moved on to the merits of fake tans, and was it better to stand and spray - I was reminded of next door's cat, Yoda, he is very fond of the stand and spray technique, usually on my car bumper – or, as the wider of the two girls advocated, tanning creams, her preference as she kept forgetting to turn in the tanning booth, resulting in a 'gurt dark west side'.

I decided it must cost a fortune to be young nowadays and it set me to wondering if the boys are equally primped and anointed. I went to have a look at what was on offer for young Bedminster blades on a night out 'on-the-pull' - the boys have almost as many creams, unguents, potions and lotions as the girls.

It's a wonder they can get a firm grip on one another after the Robert Fitzharding closes up for the night; they must be slithering about all over the place.